Orbzter

In the last month, I have made about a hundred life decisions. And then, I have changed my mind about them all. And then back. I had a big birthday in August, and it was the first one in a long time where I felt very very different, and as though maybe, just maybe, I’m putting a toe in the direction of growing up. It’s the first time in awhile where I just feel so full of possibility. And I overwhelm myself, because I want to do SO much, and I don’t want to wait for any of it. They say you get more patient as you get older, but I seem to be going in the opposite direction.

Another tour is coming to a close soon. I really hate this part. Funny how just two months ago, I didn’t know any of these people (except for Fakey P’s, of course). And now, it’s almost time to say goodbye. And it sucks. Because no matter how well you keep in touch, nothing really compares to living with, working with, and playing with the same people everyday for five weeks straight. It bums me out to have to separate from the band that took such a chance on me last spring, who I now consider my dearest friends. Carter Hulsey, Never Shout Never, A Rocket To The Moon - these guys were just another bunch of musicians a few weeks ago. Now all of these people hold a special place in my heart. I am a lucky girl.

I’ve spent the better part of 2011 on the road. And I’m so grateful for it. I don’t know if I am ready to let it go yet. All I know is that I am tired of trying to figure everything out right this second. I’m trying, every day, to just let life happen.